Umesh & Vasanthi’s

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Prologue : It is a general saying that marriages are finalised in heaven but they have to solemnised and consumated on planet earth. My mom was hunting for a bride for a long time. She had my horoscope in her mind and looking for a Kuja Dosa compatible bride. I must have been taken like a lamb for slaughter to atleast 10 different families some related and some unrelated. You all might be wondering why i did not fall in love or date a girl and get married. I had a few gals in my radar among the relatives and was proceeding cautiously because of mom. She needs a bride of her choice rather than my compatibility. So i let her look around the entire country. I remember i even went Kolkatta and saw a Padmshali girl and partly liked her and later realised she had adorned lot of make up which was downer. Later negotiation broke down and we had to drop her. My uncles daughter got married one by one and therefore the comfort zone of marrying a known girl vanished. My dad was getting frustrated when he used to hear Kuja, he uttered in kannada kuja is nothing but koodioudu mathe jadiyudu. For those who followed it in Kannada i am sure would have had hearty laughter by now.

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Ultimately she spotted through Sanjeev Shettigar Vasanthi. She was working at that time in stationery division of Corporation Bank. She approved of the match based on horoscope. My dad said come on son let us go and finalise the girl. We called her up and fixed an appointment to meet her in the office at Balmatta. We took a bus and landed in Vasanth Mahal hotel, it happened to be filled with prostitutes which i noticed and ignored. We quickly freshned up and rushed to the bank at 10 am. Vasanthi probably would have expected us in the noon but she managed to hold herself and dad approved of the match instanteously. But i said i want to talk to the alone. She proposed that we visit her place at Karnad for meeting up with the family. We went had a nice Kane lunch with their family but still i was not convinced that she will be able to withstand the tornado type of atmosphere in our family with each one having an independent outlook

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I requested her family to let me meet and dicuss for a day or two with Vasanthi in privacy. They luckily accepted despite traditinal barriers. Next day we caught up at Punja arcade, her colleague Sudha accompanied her. She saw me and said i dont want to spoil the mood with my presence she vanished. We went to woodside hotel at KSR road and had a nice lunch i had a bottle of beer and dicussed very all facets of my career and family background. I thought i should reveal all essential facts so that she makes an informed decision. After lunch i pushed off to my grandfathers place in Udupi. I had quit Nutrine and had an offer from Kurl-on. It was joining time gap which i was utilising to finalise my alliance. Dad had to rush back to Blore early because mom was pestering him to return. Next day again i suggested we shall go for a movie. We went to watch a movie in Ramakanth theatre near central market. Again day after i suggested we meet to go and watch a movie, oh my goodness i don t know what was happening in her mind. Two movies, one lunch and two visits to her place i was convinced that she would be able to reasonably handle whatever situation.

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In the meanwhile i reported for duty at Kurl-on. It was a cosy job based in HQ on Dickenson road. We were working 9 to 5 in an AC office on the 5th floor. I used to travel by our old ambassador car. I started feeling restless considering that we were supposed to get engaged and than married on 23rd August 1991. Vasanthi’s dad, mom and brother came and finalised the formalities of marriage. I knew for sure that it wont be prudent to get married and stay in two bedroom house, wherein we were 5 members already. I decided to request my boss to post me outside Bangalore. Initially i was offered Ahmedabad, but later he changed my posting to Nagpur, because the DM over there was married and he wanted to get back to his home town in Calicut. I grabbed the opportunity with both the hands and rushed to Nagpur. What i faced was a total change in set up and operational style in durable industry. It was admistrative accounts and sales, a massive responsibility along with getting used to hindi culture. I hardly had any savings in my account so i took up a cheap accomodation which was occupied by previous incumbent.

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We were on letter writing spree because those days she did not have telephone at home and i was contactable only over common phone in the business centre. It was troublesome for her to talk in her office. Vasanthi was updating regarding the development and moms absurd demands and behavior. There was a massive misunderstanding developing between the families on some pretext. As the deadline was nearing i was keeping my fingers crossed. But finally the D day was arriving and i applied 15 days leave and proceeded to Blore via Chennai. There was no direct train to Blore from Nagpur. I had simple card printed for the marriage around 200 in nos, i distributed some in Nagpur among dealers colleagues and customer and than proceeded to Blore to distribute among friends and Nutrine circle. Kaladharan accompanied me to few places but he skipped attending the marriage probably for want of leave. In the meanwhile Vasanthi had applied for transfer before fixing the date to Nagpur.

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She was issued immediate transfer order and her union colleague went and spoke to management how can a girl go and live in Nagpur without getting married. It would be scandulous. So there accomodated to relieve her after marriage.

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We hired a tempo and arrived at Udupi previous evening from Bangalore. Jackie a friend of Akila accompanied with Bhaskar and Bharti and Bhavya. I got down and withdrew around 5 K from Vijaya Bank, to pay for the van expenses and other miscellaneous expenses to be incurred for marriage. I was a little tense whether everything will end up smoothly. Early morning after bath we moved from Kalyani Nilaya to marriage hall at Bappanadu. We had a good lot of attendance from our side despite the fact mom never made conscious effort to invite every relative of the family personally. Most of the relatives came because they loved daddy, in fact around 200 people from the clan attended. Vasanthi had a huge crowd from her side.

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It was pouring cats and dog and in the noon the weather cleared up a little bit. Many of the corporatin bank staff came to wish us. Somebody published our marriage news in Udayvani, the local newspaper too. I believe goddess durgaparameshwari blessed us with all her might. After an elaborate ceremony the marriage concluded with a lunch at 3 PM. We proceeded to Karnad for a tea session and than pushed off for a night halt at Udupi.

Next day morning again we came back to Karnad to complete the formality and we had a nice non veg lunch and boarded the matador back to Blore in the noon. By 11 pm we reached R T Nagar without much event enroute. Vasanthi had an emotional farewell from her parents. For the first time i really felt sad for her since she was parting association with her family due to marriage.

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Bharati and Uma along with Udaya Kumar in the background.  Uday helped me to tie the panche which was tricky issue for me, because it was slipping away from my hips.  He was at the background always during the marriage along with his children Bhavana and Avinash Kallianpur.

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Just before leaving Vasanthi’s place at Karnad a group snap.  Jackie special guest appearance.  One final snap so it see

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Final countdown and our journey towards Bangalore by matador.

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Thank you guys for being patient and browsing through our marriage.  Till we meet again.  Goodbye.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

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